Research Notes: A Non-Dualistic Approach to Altruism and Egoism :: Stephen G. Post

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Research Notes: A Non-Dualistic Approach to Altruism and Egoism

Research Notes: A Nondualistic Approach to Altruism and Egoism: In the Giving of Self Lies the Discovery of Self

As reported in the August newsletter, it may be the case that other-regarding behavior enhances longevity among older adults, although this claim will require further corroboration (Brown, et al., 2003). It also appears that "compassionate helping" and altruistic intentions can help alleviate the symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), perhaps by distracting subjects from egocentric concerns (Kishon-Barash, et al., 1999), and can enhance mental well-being in the elderly (Midlarsky and Kahana, 1994). More solid studies in these areas are needed to enhance a fledgling empirical literature.

That the agent of kindness and helpful behavior experiences enhanced fulfillment and possibly longer life defines what I refer to as "nondualism" - i.e., in the giving of self lies the discovery of self. Contrary to arid images of altruistic love, I have in mind the more effervescent and joyful image of an Abraham Heschel (Post, 1988), of Martin Luther King, Jr., of the Dalai Lama, or of a Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Pitirim Sorokin, the great pioneer of "creative altruism" or "creative genius in the moral domain," wrote in 1954 that the buoyancy of the great altruists, who give more than they receive, suggests their possible connection to a love energy in the universe that is higher than our own (Sorokin, 2002).

Even when love requires a courageous confrontation with destructive and unjust individuals or institutions, it does not lose an underlying delight in the affirmation of a common humanity. (Those who give up their very lives for just causes teach us that longevity is a penultimate value.) Nondualism means that while commitments beyond self through altruistic behavior run counter to solipsism and "I-It" relations, they do not run counter to a fuller image of "I-Thou" relations in which one discovers that the only genuine alternative to despair, meaninglessness, and the "absurd" (as Camus described it) is other-regarding love. This is why the primary purpose of parenting, of education, and of life can only be the nurturance of the love of neighbor. And this draws our attention to how love might be nurtured through adolescent and, earlier, child development, the primary focus of this September 2003 newsletter.

1. Helping Behavior and Quality of Life: A Nondualistic Image of Positive Adolescence

Adolescents are usually characterized as self-absorbed - i.e., preoccupied with peer acceptance, self-image, and immediate needs - and as often immersed in an in-group and hostile to the outsiders or the "uncool." But is this image valid, or should we struggle harder against it? Perhaps as a society we should be engaging more adolescents in institutions and communities that authoritatively affirm the value of helping behavior, as has recently been urged by a panel of 33 children's doctors, research scientists, and mental health and youth service professionals in a 2003 report from the Commission on Children at Risk, entitled Hardwired to Connect: The New Scientific Case for Authoritative Communities (www.americanvalues.org.

Is there a relationship between adolescent fulfillment and increased openness to a common humanity?

Zipora Magen of Tel Aviv University has been studying this question since the mid-1980s (1996). Consistent with current research on altruism, she rightly assumes that the wish to contribute beyond self is a salient and genuine human motivation. She asks if such transcendence of self increases happiness - i.e., the degree to which one views one's quality of life favorably. This is not a hedonic definition of happiness, but rather one consistent with the tradition of humanistic psychology, encompassing joy, meaningfulness, fulfillment, illumination, and enthusiasm for life (Maslow, 1970).

Focusing on adolescents aged 14 to 16, Magen asks what proportion express a willingness to dedicate themselves to others and to society at large, and if this willingness comes at the price of investing in self. Or "do the two processes intertwine, joining together to create a full identity that includes a capacity for caring and giving to others as well as caring and giving to oneself" (1996, p. 240)? Magen is thus addressing whether altruism (or prosocial behavior) and commitment to personal happiness are complementary.

Magen's research is based on two major instruments, the Life Aspirations Questionnaire (LAQ) and the Positive Experience Questionnaire (PEQ), and secondary instruments. LAQ includes four levels of response: Level 1, hedonistic or selfish (e.g., "to be rich and a great runner"); Level 2, selfish but includes reference or some commitment to other people or causes (e.g., "finish school, pass my exams, and do something interesting"); Level 3, includes a desire for transpersonal commitment, or a global wish (e.g., "to improve my country and diminish conflict"); Level 4, fully expressing a desire for transpersonal commitment (e.g., "I want to teach music to children because music makes a life a little more beautiful and everyone has a right to experience it"). PEQ examines remembered positive experiences that provide a sense that life is wonderful and good. It also includes four levels: Level 1, barely positive experiences (e.g., "like to look at television"); Level 2, merely satisfying and pleasurable experiences (e.g., "took a trip and saw many lovely mountains"); Level 3, meaningful and joyful experiences that cause some change in perception, yet lack inspiration or feeling of transcendence (e.g., "visited relatives in the country for a couple of weeks and was left with a strong impression that life is beautiful" ); Level 4, inspiring, exciting, joyful, highly intense positive experiences cause a change in perceptions of self, others, or the world (e.g., "before my Bar Mitzvah party I felt unloved, but afterwards I felt so great and found myself becoming more confident and a lot more open").

Magen's study spanned more than a decade and encompassed several different cultures and adolescent populations (e.g., Israeli Jews, Israeli Moslem-Arabs, and Christian Americans). About two-thirds of teens expressed completely self-centered desires, more or less corroborating the assertion that adolescents can and do tend toward egocentricity (Magen, 1996, p. 259). However, one-third of teens (across cultures) manifested the ability to transcend self and give to others, and many expressed aspirations of contributing to the betterment of humanity and social causes. (This is cause for great hope if we better understand how such aspirations are nurtured in the young.)

Significantly, this research showed a powerful association between the intensity of adolescents' remembered happiness and their readiness to contribute to the well-being of others. In general, "youngsters who volunteered to become active in endeavors targeting others in need were differentiated from their non-volunteering peers in the higher intensity of their happy moments and higher verbal expressions of a desire for transpersonal commitment" (1996, p. 261). These data do not allow for cause and effect claims, but do establish a clear connection.

Magen concludes, nondualistically, that self-fulfillment and commitment to the fulfillment of others are not opposites, but rather inseparable and interrelated aspects of the fulfilled and healthy human personality (1996, p. 263). This is not terribly surprising. Humanistic psychology, which is the precursor to today's positive psychology, has long asserted that dedication to others constitutes an intrinsic aspect of human nature (Adler, 1964; Frankl, 1966; Maslow, 1970).

While much more research is needed, it can by hypothesized that helping behavior can be encouraged in young people because (1) it may lead to more generous lives in adulthood and in old age, with positive impact on longevity, and (2) such behavior in the young is associated with self-reported quality of life.

An association between helping behavior and self-reported happiness in adolescents suggests the need for more objective studies on health outcomes and helpfulness in this population. Could it be that lack of encouragement, mentoring, and organized opportunities for helping behavior contribute to elevated adolescent mental illness? An estimated 21 percent of children in the U.S. aged nine to 17 have a diagnosable mental or addictive disorder (Department of Health and Human Services 1999, p. 123). An estimated 8 percent of high school students suffer from clinical depression (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention 2002). Levels of anxiety among adolescents are rising (Twenge, 2000). Communities in which love of neighbor is encouraged and modeled embody significant opportunities for adolescents to achieve both goodness and happiness. But what can we do to raise infants and children who are optimally inclined toward helping behavior as they mature into adolescence?

2.Nurturing Goodness in Children

One must begin the discussion of nurturing goodness in children with The Roots of Prosocial Behavior in Children (1989) by Nancy Eisenberg and Paul H. Mussen. These authors begin their elegant work with the contrast between the constant flow of human violence or selfishness and the perhaps less prominent stories of "large and small acts of helping, sharing, and kindness" (p.1). They ask whether human beings are essentially violent and cruel, or kind and helpful. They respond that individuals differ greatly - some are selfish and cruel, while others are largely concerned with the welfare of others and the larger group; most are somewhere in between. In the final analysis, "An individual's behavior, selfish or altruistic, admirable or deplorable, is the product of a complex interaction among biological, social, psychosocial, economic, and historical events - the result of both biological (i.e., genetic) potentialities and environmental (learning) experiences" (p. 3).

How do children develop prosocial behavior? Why are some people generous and helpful while others are not? Until 1970, the focus was on antisocial behavior, which is easier to study and is deemed by some to be more urgent (Eisenberg and Mussen, p. 8). The authors appreciate the sociobiology that emerged in the 1970s because it made the evolution of altruism its central question. But, as Eisenberg and Mussen highlight, prosocial behavior is influenced by many other factors besides genes, including culture, social institutions, and situational factors of childhood and development.

Eisenberg and Mussen's summary of existing studies indicates that children 1 to 2 years old frequently respond with agitation to distress in others; by 24 months, they will often seek to comfort those who are suffering by bringing objects, offering verbal sympathy, and making suggestions (p. 57). In older children, this basic helping tendency can and does mature through moral reasoning, increased skill, and exposure to models and socialization. Deep and sustained love of others is not present in young children, but the building blocks are established, allowing progress to love.

Most studies reveal no consistent gender differences have been found; where differences have been found, they somewhat favor girls, especially in studies of siblings. Yet in many studies boys excel in certain forms of helping behavior. Family socioeconomic status has no consistent impact on child behavior, and there are no clear patterns with regard to the impact of family size or ordinal position. Although some claim to have shown that larger families generate more generosity and nonreciprocal helping, other researchers find that small family size correlates with helpfulness (p. 59). Ordinal position in the family is an equally vague factor and varies across cultures. A number of studies indicate, however, that older children exhibit greater helpfulness due to social expectations and rewards. While there are many inconsistencies and half truths in the social scientific literature about child development and helping behavior, these authors are secure in stating that modeling and imitation are highly significant in encouraging prosocial and altruistic behaviors. Parents play a key role in these behaviors, and even brief exposure to a generous non-parent model can have lasting positive effects (p. 69). Models who are warm and nurturant are more likely to impact children than non-nurturant models.

Parental modeling is especially important because of the child's desire to identify with a parent in the context of strong emotional bonds. In studies of preschool boys, for example, a father's warmth results in greater generosity and sympathy. In a study of fifth-grade children, altruism and consideration of others are correlated with the place of altruism in the value hierarchy of the same-sex parent (p. 74). Moreover, there are lasting consequences to identification with altruistic parents. Eisenberg and Mussen cite interview studies of gentile rescuers of Jews during the Nazi era that show how such behavior is rooted in parental modeling from a very young age. Because so many authoritative studies indicate the importance of parents and child-rearing practices in the development of prosocial inclinations in children, many researchers have focused on the dynamics of these phenomena in the context of attachment theory.

Attachment Theory: Attachment theory is immediately relevant to infants, who have a powerful capacity for empathy and helping behavior under suitable relational conditions. In a now famous study (1978), Ainsworth, et al. observed infants at ages 12, 15, or 18 months in the Ainsworth Strange Situation. In a series of eight episodes, the infant is introduced to an unfamiliar room, a set of toys, an unfamiliar adult, and two brief separations from the caregiver and reunions with her. Infant behavior during the reunion is used to assess attachment. Securely attached infants seek proximity to the caregiver when she returns; insecurely attached infants are ambivalent or avoid contact. The mothers of securely attached infants are attentive to needs and signals, as well as being warm, supportive, and gentle; mothers of insecurely attached infants lack these qualities. Secure maternal attachment during infancy enhances the development of concurrent and long-term prosocial behavior. Other researchers have shown that children who are securely attached to their mothers as infants become social leaders in school, are more sensitive to the feelings of their peers, and show sympathy to those in distress. Eisenberg and Mussen conclude an exhaustive literature survey as follows: "In brief, early maternal warmth, sensitivity, and responsiveness are conducive to the development of enduring concern for others. Perhaps secure children, whose early caregivers are responsive and trustworthy, acquire positive social orientations and motivations as well as lasting sensitivity to others' feelings" (p. 78).

While parental modeling of nurturant behavior and affect is important as the child develops, it should be accompanied by an authoritative style of parenting, in contrast to authoritarian or permissive styles. Authoritative parents are warm and supportive, respectful, communicate and reason well with their children, and also demand mature behavior (e.g., guide activities firmly and require helping behavior in family tasks). Authoritarian parents, in contrast, rely on coercive discipline and lack warmth; permissive parents are nurturant but lax in disciplining and rewarding their children (p. 80). The influence of peers and teachers is also important, as is a positive use of media (e.g., "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood" and other programs stressing cooperation). Non-parent mentors can offset negative family modeling.

In a concluding chapter, Eisenberg and Mussen write sum up the available literature as follows:

"Which children are most likely to assist, share, and comfort others? In general, they are relatively active, sociable, competent, assertive, advanced in role taking and moral judgment, and sympathetic. The parents of prosocial children also are likely to combine nurturant, supportive parenting practices with modeling of prosocial acts, discussions of the effects of such acts on others, inductive discipline, expectations of mature behavior, and early assignment of responsibility for others." (p. 151)

There are many gaps in the research, and some studies in this methodologically complex area reach differing conclusions. Much more research is needed to clarify the role of genetics and biology, the components of effective training programs in schools and other social environments, and the optimal impact of various authoritative communities from churches to athletic teams (p. 157).

Eisenberg and Mussen also recommend the in-depth study of exemplary altruists:

"In-depth, multifaceted studies, both naturalistic and clinical, of individuals who have been outstanding exemplars of humanitarianism may provide unique opportunities to probe into the dynamics, motivations, and cognitive operations that direct prosocial actions. Detailed biographical studies of famous altruists such as Albert Schweitzer, Mahatma Gandhi, and Mother Teresa can be used to explore their personalities, motivations, socialization experiences, and cognitive functioning." (p. 157)

Citing the work of Erik Erikson on Gandhi, it is noted that such biographical studies always lack degrees of objectivity and do not easily permit generalizations. Another approach is to study "living people vigorously involved in humanitarian endeavors" (p. 158).

Broadly speaking, parents of altruistic children are nurturing and supportive, model altruism, use discussion to highlight its beneficial effects on others, establish expectations for this behavior, and create opportunities for it in their children's lives. These parents make demands and assert a constructive authority in the moral domain by both teaching and modeling.

The building blocks of empathy in children are evident in the very young. From birth, babies have an ability to respond to the emotions of others. For example, babies can imitate the facial expressions of parents and caregivers, or burst into tears if they hear another baby crying. At three months, they respond differently to happy or sad faces (Izard, et al., 1995). One-year-olds show signs of distress when shown videotapes of other children crying (Ungerer, et al., 1990). A child will begin to show concern for others at about one year of age. In a well regarded study, researchers trained mothers to observe and record their children's emotional responses to others, including the mothers' owned feigned states of sadness and joy. Researchers also visited once a month to record their own observations. The findings are noteworthy: at 13-15 months, greater than 50% of the children tried to hug, pat, or touch another person who was distressed ("prosocial behavior"), responding to perceived emotions and trying to make the other person feel better; at 18-20, months the responsiveness increased and was expressed in a variety of helping behaviors, such as sharing goodies, trying to bring bandages or blankets, etc.; at 23-25 months they revealed even more empathy as all but one child in the study showed concern as well as helping behaviors, mainly toward mothers but even including strangers (Zahn-Waxler, et al., 1992).

3. Concrete Practical Steps

What can parents do to facilitate other-regarding love in their children? Various scholars suggest the following:

1. Let children know that it means a lot when they are kind and helping.

2. Role model kindness to others and kindness to the child. If you say one thing and do another, the child will imitate what you do. Do small things with great love.

3. Non-parental role models and mentors become especially important as the child grows into youth and is subject to adverse peer pressure. Try to surround a child with helping people whenever possible, whether through a religious organization or some other association. Get them involved in helping behaviors so that they can experience the increased fulfillment these bring.

4. Media does have an impact. Children who see kindness on TV tend to imitate it.

5. Educate children about famous altruists. Read biographies of good neighbors.

6. Give children and students assigned helping responsibilities. Expect an evolution from involuntary to voluntary helping behavior.

4. Concluding Thoughts

Actions speak louder than words, and love is transmitted more than taught. A more mature science of nurturance of love and care in children and adolescence will result in a more caring adult society, and more meaningful - and even healthier and longer - lives. A key question is how we can create mature adults who exemplify love for a common humanity in deed and word. At a secondary level, the nondualistic approach taken here suggests that we give greater attention to the health outcomes in the agents of love with respect to self-report, objective measures, and longevity. Following the lead of Sorokin, the role of perceptions of divine love in encouraging and sustaining generosity throughout the life span is also a fit area for scientific investigation.

References

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Institute for Research on Unlimited Love Room 214, School of Medicine Case Western Reserve University 10900 Euclid Avenue Cleveland, OH 44106-4976 www.unlimitedloveinstitute.org

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Published 2003.09.18

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