A man boasts about his successful marriage.“What’s your secret?” a friend asks.“Simple division of labor,” the husband says. “I make all the big decisions; my wife makes all the small ones.”“I don’t understand,” says his friend. “For instance?”“For instance, my wife decides where I work, where we live, where the kids go to school. I…
The other day I had a very interesting conversation with a truly engaged and engaging Christian. We were talking about the Bible. He’s a literalist. He believes that the Bible’s meaning is clear and certain, and that it’s only when other people engage in an act he calls “interpreting” that things get muddled. I asked…
In thought and conversation we each take a variety of perspectives, many of which are nested or hierarchical. That is, when you make a statement, it is worth knowing what it represents. A part of you? You overall? Us? Your community? Your country? Everybody? I’ve written a lot in these pages about how hierarchies of…
Q: Why do dogs lick their genitals? A: Because they can. As with all jokes, this one is a bait and switch. We were expecting a motive and got a de-constraint instead. The question led us to think about the dog’s ends (no pun intended), and instead we’re shunted to consideration of the dog’s means….
A couple of weeks ago Jared Diamond, of Guns, Germs and Steel fame, had an article in the New Yorker describing tribal warfare in the New Guinea Highlands. Diamond takes us through a typical feud that started over accusations by one tribe that another tribe’s pig had messed up their garden. He follows Daniel, a…
As you know, when I’m not juicing the details of everyday interaction to extract the basic dance moves people make in dealing with tough judgment calls, I’m working with academic colleagues on putting together what I’ll call a SCIBIT-a Scientifically Coherent Integrated Bottom-up Information Theory. Information theory is a theory about what information is and…
“If everybody minded their own business,” the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, “the world would go round a deal faster than it does.”Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Minding one’s own business commonly means not minding other people’s business, but its literal meaning is still implied–don’t mind others’ business because you have business of your…
I’ve argued before that there are three types of guidance or wisdom. The first and simplest is the “always do X” type. For example, always think positive thoughts, always follow your father’s advice, or always do what the Bible says. The second is the “a time for X; a time for Y” type, the wise…
Last week I argued that we need names for the generic tough judgment calls we all deal with. I gave a few examples: Should I be receptive or assertive? Should I manipulate or be honest? I argued that we pretend we can live by one-sided principles – assert your rights, accept things as they are,…
I’m a musician. I’ll admit that when I was a teen, I got into it as a way to improve my status with women. I don’t know that it ever helped much; I’m no superstar. Still, I’ve stayed a musician. Music has stayed functional in my life. But now, music represents something other than status…