Why does it take 6 million sperm to fertilize an egg? Because none of them will stop to ask directions. A remarkable number of derogatory terms analogize the male genitalia. I’ve wondered why, and I think I know at least a couple of the reasons. For one, we’re shy about our genitalia–so calling attention to…
You see a friend lost in the details of what looks to you like a fundamentally bad plan. You want to help your friend. You ask a leading question or two: “Do you sometimes wonder if your plan makes sense?” or “How do you feel it’s going lately, I mean overall?” Your friend generally welcomes…
A friend who once lived in England told me that the word sorry is used differently there, that it is less an apology than an expression of sympathy. Over the years my friend and I have listed alternative meanings of the word sorry and assigned each a country of origin (without much regard to real…
Sorrytaliatory Cycle: My mistake—no, yours—no, mine—no . . . “Excuse me, my unfocused words. I was flying blind. If you can find it in your heart . . . if you’ve got one. . .”“Shame,” by Randy Newman from the album “Bad Love” Decision theory recognizes that any yes/no question entails the prospect of being…
You expect people to walk their talk. When they have for a while you gain confidence that they will continue to do so, that they’re as good as their word. With established rapport, the question of whether they keep their word doesn’t even come up. But when you haven’t known someone long or when some…
Real estate has buyer’s and seller’s markets–and other industries have them as well. Information industries have a particular kind of seller’s market in which demand is high for information that is not reliably available. Cancer treatment, money management, leadership training, alternative medicine, psychotherapy, get-rich-quick training courses, spiritual guidance, diet programs–these are just some of the…
The relationship between reality and interpretation is always tenuous. Who’s to say what’s real? There is no simple formula to ensure that an interpretation matches reality—and besides, if there were one, we’d be ambivalent about using it. Our impressions bob and weave around our reality. Reality delivers a right uppercut and our impressions slide out…
I lost a friend a few months ago. I miss him, but he is gone, though he lives on in my memory. My friend didn’t die, but our connection did—and it happened over the subject of death. He used to drop by unannounced late in the evening. I welcomed him in, and welcomed also his…
“I can’t tell whether to spit or go blind.” I’ve always liked this phrase (alternatively, “shit or go blind”). It’s slang for confusion in the face of options, and etymologists aren’t sure where it comes from. Its appeal, I suspect, is partly onomatopoetic—it sounds confused. Its appeal may also be the precision with which it…
Big gruff men—supersaturated with testosterone—bully people with their stentorian voices, raised hackles, and looming bulk. Wielding the yang sword of decisiveness they impose their will, and women and children scramble for safety. The scrambling pays off in counterstrategies. When you don’t have yang working for you, you make yin work instead. Centuries of co-evolving yang…